Day Fifteen/Sixteen

Hello,

Exciting things are happening. I'm seeing a clear vision of how I want to live. And I am acting on creating my new life. A few wonderful things in the vision, in this particular spot I've learned about, are multiple yoga studios, local buddhist retreat centers, a hip coffeehouse which welcomes performing artists, writers, poets. Several quaint shops, thrift shops, a farmers market, many galleries, mom-and-popbookstores, mountain views, hiking, music festivals, a river, performance spaces, workshops and gatherings for artists.

I see myself buying fresh produce and making goat cheese and beat salads...and maybe even growing my own veggies....do yoga at the base of the mountain with the other yogis...meeting musicians to collaborate with on my projects -- writing a children's album, another jazz album and singin' around, supporting the new people I meet as well.

My home there is peaceful, bright and warm. I cook for new friends, do readings at my place, plays, poetry, prose. I would get on the committee to help brainstorm about maintaining the local vibrance of artist community as well as the local commerce.

Basically....I'd become a citizen. A real person in the world working at achieving a utopian lifestyleor something strikingly similar. It has an Ayn Rand quality about it, this challenge. But, I'm ready remove my spectator clothes in exchange for the cloak of a participator.

Feeling inspired and strong.

Ephemerally Yours,

Michelle

Day Fourteen

hello,

I'm experience a vision of how/where I want to live!!! Writing it out!!! Researching it!! It seems quite possible!

t.d.d.f.

Day Twelve/Thirteen

Hello,

Checking-in. I worked out both yesterday and today and thought about what to do with my life....not clear....

Ephemrally Yours,

T.D.D.F.

Day Eleven

Hello,

I'm looking forward to the weekend. More intens Sati, both Saturday and Sunday, Spring cleaning and writing the music chart for the song I'll sing at my brother's wedding May 2nd.

Ephemerally yours,

T.D.D.F.

Day Nine

Hello,

Been so busy that I hardly have time to think the negative thoughts I used to think. I plan to take some time this weekend to be still and compose something reflective and heartfelt. Hard to reflect when you're poised so directly forward.


Ephemerally Yours,

T.D.D.F.

Day Eight

Hello,

Been working out hard! Shocking myself! Exhausted! Up at 6am tomorrow for more!!!

EphemerallyYours,

The Dating Detox Fox

Day Seven

Hello,

It's been a pretty amazing day. I was in Sati tonight and decided that I want to be strong. Physically and Emotionally. Self-reliant. I can be with discipline. This will be the most important commitment I make, the commitment to care about my body. To care about my choices in the way I communicate, with myself and others. And I am grateful for the chance to make such a commitment. Self-love is the choice. I challenge myself to begin all reflections with loving affirmations. I'm not going to talk about how hard it's been or can be. I'm just going to do it and watch the magic happen inside and around me. It's happened for a very dear friend of mine. I have witnessed the results of her commitment to self-love and self-inquiry and have decided to join the club.

I am! I can! I choose! I create! I have! I will! I enjoy! I love!

I forgive myself for my mistakes, my miscommunications. Tomorrow is a new day.


Ephemerally Yours,

The Dating Detox Fox

Day Six

Hello,

I think it's day six. Just came from a belly dance class. Felt more like staying home on this rainy night, but like this blog, it's a new commitment. One of three I'm juggling now, including the Sati 30 day challenge.

Again, I don't have time to write, but wanted to check-in for ME. Acknowledging my ability to make commitments to myself.

Emphemerally Yours,

The D.D.F.

Day Five

Hello,

I'm not going to fib on on my blog. That would be a real flog. Truth is, I'm feeling very bluesy. Like post-date-'em depression. Been feeling a numbness all weekend. A friend gave me an insight I appreciate. She says the numbness is a way of masking pain and that beneath it there is anger and sadness. She implored me to feel the sadness I feel. I was so bent on picking up and moving on from my most recent relationship. Believed I could actually snap into "he-just- wasn't-the-one" mode, take a yoga class and experience the gush of wind from the proverbial door that was going to magically open for me just because I want it to. Picking up and moving on is not a glamourous strut down a quaint New York block in an episode of Sex in the City. It's a foggy, hazy dragging feeling where you feel like you're leaving visible dust of weary tracks in your path, much like Pig Pen in the Peanuts.

I saw Hannah, My Happiness today. And for her, I'm grateful.

Ephemerally Yours,

The Dating Detox Fox

Day Three/Four!

Hello,

I had a rough time finding a computer yesterday. Yesterday was a bit challenging. There was a numbness I experienced most of the day. Of course, my niece, snapped me into gear right away. Children are medicine for the adult soul. Her joy about absolutely everything is intoxicating. I suppose I was once like that. I'm going to get it back with Sati, the fitness program I started today!

I did go backwards a bit today. Wondered about guy from my most recent (ended) relationship. Had to realign my thoughts to get present about the priorities: MY HOME, MY PASSIONS, MY BODY.

I only have 20 seconds left on this Dunkin Donut laptop!

Just had to check in with me!

I can't wait to have my computer back! It's hard to be creative under the Dunkin Donut gun.



Heading to a friend's party now.....

Ephemerally Yours,

The Dating Detox Fox

Day Two

Hello! Day Two!

I've survived day two of Dating Detox. I did not concern myself with any dating quandaries. I started the day experiencing the universe's best kept secret: getting up early in the morning and strolling to work. I sat on a brownstone stoop for a bit taking in the morning. MY morning. I gave myself the minutes, wasn't on the clock, workin' for da man yet, and so they were mine. And it felt like a gift I unwrapped slowly and peacefully, only I was in the giftbox! It was me in the box! Once I stepped out, I could take the time to enjoy what felt like our first real spring morning. I took in a few big breaths (as big as you can in NYC), they're all a bit more shallow than the ones you can take by the sea, but I took 'em in nonetheless. I got present, is what I did! I didn't think about yesterday or tomorrow. I thought about this morning, this moment.

Today I learned that I got into a fitness program at one of NYC's best gyms that entitles me to a free month membership! In order to maintain the priviledge, I have to take three Intense Sati classes a week. So, with regards to my commitment to my body, here it goes!!! And I'm thrilled to have this opportunity!

On the brain today were a few things: joining a book club, getting a bike and the apartment sprucing I have yet to complete.

I'm in a Dunkin' Donuts now since my computer is in the shop and have an important phonecall this evening with a very good friend sooooo......gotta run!!!

Ephemerally Yours,

The Dating Detox Fox

Day One

Hello Friends,

And if you are in fact my friend, this blog stays a secret to my Eternally-Concerned Jewish Mother. Caps. Yes, she's earned them, by means of over-imposed guilt. If cars could run on guilt, and her particularly potent brand, we'd have all of our environmental issues solved. While my mother could perceive this dating desert (oy, 90 days and 90 nights), as a gestating trimester wasted, I see it as an opportunity to achieve pure-and-unadulterated Michelleness.

With that said, I am embarking on a new journey today! MY life! Today is Day One of Dating Detox. I've self-matriculated into a 90-day program where I am all about ME: exercise, healthy eating, focusing on my singing goals, my apartment and some travel, and most importantly practicing compassion in all scenarios. There is nothing that will have the power to move me to anger or pain in the next 90 days, because I have faith in my own personal power over anything/anyone else's perceived power. Needless to say, I'm boycotting the online dating sites during this period. 57 year-old "MiketheMasseuse" from Tempe, Arizona, you'll just have to wait, even though we both love flea markets.

With this detox plan, I aim to experience my life fully in real time, as well as hone my personal visions without distractions from men. From today until day 90, the men I encounter are all innocuous (as they should always be), as innocuous as domestic pets, pet fish, puppies, sea monkeys and the like.

I feel free as a bird!!! It's my virtual ride in a hot pink convertible on an endless freeway, no exit signs in sight, just an open sky and a beautiful bright horizon made of edible chocolate that I can smell from my car...and no matter how hard the wind blows, my make-up and hair are fixed in perfect place!

We now interrupt this program to mention an insanely precious moment:

Last night, my 2 year old niece, Hannah, wrapped herself in long beaded necklaces, dragging them on the floor behind her. She kept looking back as they dragged saying, "C'mon guys, Let's go!" She thinks the little beads are her buddies!!!

And the day goes on.....to report Day One: Part Deux later tonight on a begged for, borrowed or stolen computer, as mine is in the shop...pain in my cyber-ass...kidding, OF COURSE, as compassion is the new way!

Ephemerally yours,

The Dating Detox Fox